...i hope one day you'll join us and the world will live as one

and though most of the world has probably figured this all out already it has just begun to hit me.

i was sitting in the middle of jiffy lube yesterday watching men in suits and ties looking miserable in their much too tight leather shoes. what drives the noose of a tie around their necks was what i couldn't get off my mind. why are people sitting all day long in offices where the world can not be seen and all i could come to is their main goal is money. i want to grab them and tell them that the world is so much bigger than that. that there are lives to change and people to be reach. there is a world to explore and beauty to be taken in. instead we are all sitting in jiffy lube waiting for our $19.99 oil change.

having desks thrown at my on a repeated bases and being told "the hell withchu" has also brought me to perhaps a life changing conclusion...

i have begun to realize that most people in my life circle react out of past hurts. fear drives a person to decided the way that they are going to be mistreated before it even happens. the new questions that i have been driven to ask is "why is this reaction happening and how can i show that there is a better way." my 11 year old student already believes that in life you have to fight or you will die. i told him that by the end of the year im going to make him a lover not a fighter. just a simple goal really. i imagine changing lives by loving but is it a reality when the rest of their lives are drunken moms, missing dads and "survival" being the only thing on their minds. maurices number one responsibility is to protect himself and his family according to the paper he wrote yesterday.

my friend kyle once gave me a book called traveling mercies. in it there was a section that i think about all the time. it said that...

brokenness is life's nature: that lives and hearts get broken - those of people we love, those of people that we will never meet. it said that this world sometimes feels like a waiting room of the emergency ward and that we who are more or less ok for now need to take the tenderness possible care of the more wounded people in the waiting room, until the healer comes.

the world is a funny place when the people we need so desperately are also the ones that cause so much pain. it makes you think about the only one who provides that love that does not defer.

i am addicting to myspace for truly one reason and one reason only - the music you can find is AMAZING. i could spend all day jumping from band page to band page listening.

i really enjoy watching foreign films with ellen erin and nat. i really don't enjoy having to leave the movie before it ends. will those boys ever become a successful chorus?