yesterdays sunset was simply amazing. it made me dream of watching it set over water as my feet dangled gently in it. lake geneva’s pier is one of my favorite spots to watch the sun set.
laura and i use to chase sunsets in the bahamas. if we noticed there was an exceptional sunset to behold we would jump on our bikes and peddle our little hearts out until we found the right pier to take it all in. i think really great day would start with watching the sun rise and close with it’s setting…a full circle sort of thing.
i have realized when i really care about a person a few hours is just not enough. i struggle with this because i know it’s not fair to want so much time but just spending time with me is more valuable than diamonds. now this might get tricky because i will push you away as hard as i can but fill my self full with hopes that you will stick around. the more i learn about myself the more i realize what a twisted soul i have. it might be ok in the end because i really am a sucker for the tortured tormented type.
i have found a new appreciation for marking my calendar. looking towards future dates gives a person hope, hope of things to come.
i have a confession. i might love to say the word moonpie in my deepest southern accent but i don’t especially like to eat them.
in march and the beginnings of april i lost my faith in people. for me it is the worst place to be. it was like a ton of bricks that hit me over and over again until i left like i might not make it.
i will make april a month of new beginnings. my faith will be restored. beauty will be seen.
we need each other. we are nothing without each other. faith in people is being restored because of people in my lives.
every time melissa cries because we have killed another mouse in our apartment some faith is restored.
every time rachel pops out of nowhere and makes one statement that opens up the secrets of my soul and just understands, faith is restored.
and melissa will sit on my bed and let me tell her secrets of my heart and she will cry because of my heart is broken a little bit and I have decided not to mend it, faith is restored.
sitting around a table having a mexican easter meal laughing until my stomach hurts restores my faith.
i can’t wait until it is warm so i can run outside again. i want to run until i feel like my lungs are going to explode and i am dripping with sweat.
forest gump is my hero. i like to imagine myself just start to run one day. i will keep on running – constantly moving forward – until on day i stop because im ready because i think it’s time.
i have begun to pray for three things in my life. a dear dear dear friend opened my eyes to these areas and I have clung to them and cried out for them for myself and those people who share my prayers. courage…clarity…confidence. they are the c’s i wish to see in my life.
have you seen the bus with the advertisements for 101.9, eric and cathy will pose as different bands… i have decided from now on i will only pose for pictures in my best green day pose.
i am not looking for someone to come and solve all the problems in my life. come and walk beside me, let me rest beside you every once in a while until i get enough strength to push forward again.
i don’t want a savior i want a companion.
