i have to tell the board if i am coming back or not by friday. i thought that i knew the answer but it has been impossible for me to say it outloud since i came back.

we were in hope town last weekend and the whole time i tried to imagine my life without the amazing beauty that is around me right now and i couldn't. i have come to realize that i am so easily distracted. i will intentionally fill my life with so much so that i wont have to sit alone and deal with different issues and thoughts going through my life.

i have been changed by sitting in the presences of god's beauty. i feel like with each new sunrise i see i understand a new element of him. his majesty is whispered in the sounds of the waves and his wonder can be seen in the different colors of blue in the sea.

i consider this home. that was my first thought when i walked in my apartment after christmas..."im home." i don't know if im ready to take that away from myself yet