but there's one other thing I remember,and remembering, I keep a grip on hope:

god's loyal love couldn't have run out, his merciful love couldn't have dried up.

they're created new every morning. how great your faithfulness!

i have gotten into the habit of eating while im reading before bed. i completely blame it on sarah and her influence while i was home...ok and i completely blame it on my lack of self control when there are chocolate covered raisons in my place.

the other night i added dried apple slices to my normal chocolate covered raison mix. i thought i was just fine untill i woke up at 3 in the morning with my stomach on fire. i could not go to bed for anything and by the time i had made tea to settle it i was wide awake. by the time i went to bed at 4:30. i decided that it was a good thing.

i have come to realize that i do not let myself alone with my thoughts very often. i fill my life with busyness and obligations, with noise. that night i could not escape silence....my thoughts. processing, in the end, turns out to be a really good thing no matter how much it hurts along the way.


i miss them.

we have had a cold spell since i got back.

walking down the beach in a sweat shirt really is just as nice as in a bathing suit.

24 season three - why do you take over my thoughts!?!?!

reading donald millers - through painted deserts has inspired the idea of a road trip. this is what im thinking ellen and i would love you to be involved. my jeep - california - camping -i will let you fill in the necessary information.

rachel = london. holy smokes.

my and dad are coming down to visit. this means more than i will ever be able to say. i don't think that people can truly realize who i am now untill they see and experience where i have lived for the past two years.

5 teachers doing pilates in one small living room results in bruisings and sore stomachs (from laughing NOT exercise).

the skin horse had lived longer in the nursery than any of the others. the was so old that his brown coat was bald in patches and showed the seams underneath, and most of the hairs in his tail and been pulled out to string bead necklaces. he was so wise, for he had been a long succession of mechanical toys arrive to boast and swagger, and by-and-by break their mainsprings and pass away and he knew that they were only toys and would never turn into anything wise. for nursery magic is very strange and wonderful, and only those playthings that are old an wise and experienced like the skin horse understand all about it. "what is Real" asked the rabbit on day when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before nana came in to clean the room. "does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?" "Real isn't how you are made,"said the skin horse. "it's a thing that happens to you. when a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real." "does it hurt?" asked the rabbit. "sometimes," said the skin horse, for he was always truthful. "when you are Real you don't mind being hurt." "does it happen all at once like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?" "it doesn't happen all at once," said the skin horse. "you become. it takes a long time. that's why it doesn't often happen to poeple who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out, and you get loose in the joints and very shbby. but these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand. -the velveteen rabbit

there is not one thing i like about leaving. i use to think that i was good at it...well i never was good at saying goodbye but at leaving and detatching myself from a place was something i could do very easily. it's not like that anymore. this was the hardest time for me to say goodbye. i don't know why yet - i haven't thought about it enough. but i know that this one was hard and i know that i don't really want to say goodbye all the time anymore.

sitting waiting for a plane.

slept two hours last night and had an elderly man sleep on my shoulder on one of the planes.

my deodorant has failed me again - curse organic deodorant.

it is hot hot hot and i am wearing socks and shoes.

there is free ice cream in this terminal.

hours of speed scrabble with my family and hannah stevenson is something that i will truly miss.

the talk of my hopetown girls coming soon is giving me so much joy even if we are going to be packed like sardines in the apartment.