i think that deep down inside we know the truths about ourselves that we never want to the rest of the world to know...or in even some cases that we don't even want ourselves to know.
i'm not scared of the things that are hard. i think that i truly understand that once we work through the hard there is a better and a healthier side waiting. i have just been shown lately that not everyone is ready to face up to the hard first.
i want to be a healthy - responsible - growing - learning - active - loving - helpful person. i want to live life fully and , yes, maybe there will be regrets but i want to be able to see a lesson in each regret. i don't want unhealthy fears to rule life.
i do think that we are all doing the best we can. and your best might look different then my best but everyone is trying. the tragic part of that, i have now learned, is that your best might not be healthy for me to be so involved in.
i can't feel things slightly - i naturally involve myself fully. i naturally care a lot. i naturally want best for people. i naturally want to fight for you even when you refuse to fight for yourself. i naturally believe in people and that belief does not dwindle even when they fail.
.which. makes it almost impossible for me to walk away.
two months of this extreme traveling has taught me that sometimes we have to walk away in belief that one day we can walk back to better.
and so, my feet will walk.
2 comments:
mary. i just really miss you.
mary, this is beautiful and so true. i've been learning that lesson too. thanks for sharing!
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