we were ridding back on the ferry from hope town today and jess - who is always pushing me to think about the things i can easily shut myself out from - asked if i was going to be hard to leave this place.

now i haven't stopped thinking about it. most of the time it doesn't feel like this is a real life. well, teaching feels like the real part of life but the rest of this feels like something you see in a movie. these friends that i have made out here couldn't even be compared to the zaniest of movie characters. laura and i watched caste away the other night and i was thinking that the last time i saw the movie i thought that most of the stuff was impossible - this time i watched it and i just though "oh yeah - of course". my feet are "man feet" put so nicely by jill because i am barefoot most of the time. tropical storms - yes please. heat never ends. bathing suits seem like the mandatory uniform. power outages - always. humming of generators. and all these things are my life.

i don't know how much i am going to miss a place that didn't seem real to begin with but i don't think i will let myself think about it to much yet.