wash with pomegranate.

me doing this usually means me not doing my lessons plans. thursday nights make an internal battle in me that might never be won. greys anatomy makes me look forward to them all week long and knowing that all my lesson plans are due the next day makes me dread dread dread them.

i think that i had a crush on derek at volleyball this week. it must have snuck in with his dramatic eye roll and loud sigh and left with the unnecessary ball throwing. does his new spoken passion for africa have anything to do with it?

i am no longer that only jardine who has not had an accident. when i go out i go out strong - im talking about 4 car pile up strong. i think that asking me to remain sitting in my car might be the hardest request possible when there is opportunity for me administer first aid. my dream of being a nurse still lurks.

i wish all of you could see the beauty of my mom coming into my classroom to read and sing with the kids. something about the worst of the worst sing folk songs with a grey haired kind hearted women is completely magical.

i love camp. i love serving. i love serving at camp at 7:15 in the morning on my only real morning off. i love jill. i also love serving at camp with jill and deciding to walk into town in freezing rain and snow to warm ourselves with tea and cider and have sliding contest throughout most of our adventure. down jackets make the world go around.

as it would turn out jason mraz has just come back from india - another reason for soulmates? how embarrassing though that he forgot to take his favorite girl to the land she dreams of. reading his poetic words fills me with nothing but forgiveness.

in the end pomegranate hand soap really does smell amazing.

oh and life of pi had me crying on the train - read it...hmmm wait....let me finish it first then i will give me final thoughts. so far it's a thumbs up.

i will go here...

breathing in the new year.

i was holding my breath for a little while and all of a sudden i wasn't me anymore.

breathe- i forget to sometimes. and my world starts to look small and things start to look complicated and i get a little sad.

hopping into a car and passing from state to state makes me feel like i'm breathing again.

sitting on a beach listening to waves crash and watching the dolphins say their hello is breathing.

applauding the sun as it says its goodnight and sets over the water with strangers who don't feel so strange as my new friend softly strums his guitar next to me is breathing.

singing on the very very top of my lungs and waving my fist in the air as we dodge our highway police men because we might be going way to fast is breathing.

hopes of sweet southern apple pie and BOOOOOY those little chicken biscuits in middle of the south with surprise trips to the airport and a sister who thinks that rules are allowed on road trips with regina speckor sneaking in a breaking rule....#4 is breathing.

it's a new year full of new hopes and dreams.

resolutions: these things are serious to me. once they are said out loud they become a little more real. i wont say them all out loud yet - i can't yet. i'm scared for a couple to become more real. BUT...

#1 - pick up the phone when i know it's ringing.
#2 - communication. i don't do it and i'm sorry. faithful old friends who wait patiently are blessings for girls who find running away to battle new adventures way easier than sticking around to battle old hurts. does it help that i'm aware of it?
#3 - research my homeland of india.
#4 - don't ever tell my gypsy blood not to pound inside of me.

and breathe. it's important.

and i still jason mraz.

and ellen moore. i love her and her delicately sweet voice.